Tobi Ayé

Is from Benin, descendant of Nago/ Yorubas people in west Africa.

Cultural somatic practitioner - Tao of Trauma practitioner - Grief Worker - Educator- Storyteller - Artist - Mama

About Me

I was born and raised in Benin where tales, proverbs, metaphors, mysteries, mysticism and metaphysics were part of my daily life.

“Tobi, what do you want to be when you grow up?” I sensed that following the healing work of my father and grandfather was not an option for me as child growing up because I was a girl. Even though my favorite thing to do as a kid was to listen to others’ stories, hold space for them, be curious and wondrous about humans in general.  I saw how my own mother had to dampen her extraordinary gifts, because of being suspected as being a ‘witch’. My forgotten gifts and passion nevertheless emerged as I explored different creative career paths in my early adulthood.

For me, healing is an art and art is healing. My practice of holding space and being a somatic practitioner merges in and out of my creativity, the practice of being soft and present with myself.

The idea of healing trauma is an Eurocentric view: We must fix someone, something in someone, and make this person fit into a “normal” society again. But in others paradigms we dance with trauma, we believe trauma is part of all of us and I believe we can’t fully dance with our traumas if we can’t connect with our essence, and this essence is deeply embedded around our creativity and capacity to transform our wounds into our superpower. 

I hold the view that nobody heals anyone, rather we invoke healing in each other. I honor the bodies I help but also the visible and invisible forces that are part of bodies I am helping as well as my own.

When I’m not doing pottery, sewing, stitching… or facilitating embodied transformation and collective liberation work, you can find me with my family (partner, 2 kids and a dog) hiking in or around Lisbon, Portugal. A land, I currently call home.  It’s a land that has received my ancestors as enslaved bodies - but for that, today, I give myself permission to live in as a happy free body.

Healing repairs. Healing is justice.

Black and brown dog lying on the floor

Kind Words

  • Not only is this a review of my time working with her but a review of how far I have come with Tobi’s guidance. Last year I was in a frozen state, unable to move in any particular direction. Through our sessions, I began to melt. Tobi guided me in taking small steps as not to overwhelm me, all while feeling protected.  Each session felt like a safe place for me to open up and be held. Tobi is nourishing, warm and open. As soon as I saw her face at the start of the practice, I felt at ease.  We will continue our work and I cannot wait what else we will unthaw in this time. I wholeheartedly recommend her. I feel so lucky that I had this chance. Thank you Tobi for your existence, your continuous work for the community and individual. 

    S.W - Beauty Therapist - Berlin/Germany

  • Tobi's approach honors all of the intersectionalities I am experiencing as a person of mixed heritage in a way that most practitioners miss. Her guidance and support deeply validate of me. She works with what is present and yet always understands the context of how it all interlinks with the broader challenges I am facing. Tobi gently reminds me of the wisdom of my body and helps me strengthen the trust I have in myself. Her methods are multi-faceted, embodied, creative, soft, and yet profoundly powerful"

    C.D. - Cultural Heritage Program Manager London/UK

  • "Tobi came at a very crucial and difficult time in my life. And from the very beginning, she helped me to see the light in the darkness, to see the top of the mountain while I was in the valley. As this journey of healing can sometimes be very lonely, she was there to remind me and show me that I was not alone. That she was there to hold me when I was down, to support me through life-changing transitions, and also to celebrate my victories with me. With her soft, loving, kind, wise and compassionate nature, she shared tools that finally allowed me to not only see myself but to believe in myself. As a daughter of first-generation immigrants, living in an anti-black society (and all the isms that go against what I represent) she showed me the beauty of softness and how it can help me navigate this quite challenging world. I will never find enough words to thank her and tell her what she and this mean to me. But what I do know is that our journey together has empowered me and changed my life forever. Thank you Tobi. For being a sister, for holding space, and for sharing your gifts with me and our community so that we can (properly) breathe now.”

    F.M - creative visionary- Portugal

Trainings & Certifications

All the training courses and certificates listed below are based on a solid foundation of many years of learning and indigenous experience specific to my culture, which I value enormously.

Ancestral Healing Journey with Thomas Hübl

Body as Healer with Peter A. Levine

Body Awareness with Idan Yoav

Bodywork: Sacred Art of Tai Yoga Body work with Ericka Bhavani

Breathwork with David Elliot

Essential breathing Module I (Down-regulation), II (Up-regulation) & III (Women & Children) with Rakel Sosa

Family Constellator (On going)

Motherhood and parenting (2 humans and 2 pets)

Polyvagal Theory with Stephen Porges

Tao of Trauma informed by Somatic experiencing & Polyvagal theory with Alaine D. Duncan

Trauma-informed Leadership with Thomas Hübl

Traumatic stress studies (on going) with Trauma research foundation

Transcending Trauma with Terry Marks-Tarlow & Leanne Domash

Virtual & in-person facilitation training with Virtilitation

Gratitude

I am on this journey thanks to my blood lineage composed of healers, herbalists, teachers, story tellers, artists, weavers…

I thank my family ancestors for their tenacity and character. I praise my parents, my siblings and my extended kin for their continuous support in anything I am doing and the person I am becoming.

My Dad, and my teachers Rakel Sosa and David Elliot who have given me the confidence to work with the breath. All my gratitude.

My grandfather has passed on to me his love of medicinal plants. Feeling blessed by this gift.

My grandmother, my teachers Alaine Duncan and Rakel Sosa who taught me that softness is power.

My children and life-partner. Luna, my dog and Ofélia, my cat give me the space to train my nervous system 🤪, practice and integrate softness.😅💆🏾‍♀️

Grateful for my clients, for their trust and for allowing me to learn with them.

Grateful for all the beings on this planet, who I am learning from in everyday life: Honoring : Forest, Animals, Mountains, Rivers, Ocean, Fire, Wood, Earth, Metal, Air, Water, Sun, Moon, East, West, North and South and the land I was born on and many other lands that support my growth and hold me and my family together… Asé.

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