Strengthening Belief: What My First Grief Cohort taught me

Completing the journey of teaching my first cohort of grief facilitators was a deeply transformative experience for me as a teacher. While I believe it moved the trainees as well, I won’t speak for them—I’ll let them share for themselves what this experience has meant and done for them. When I developed this program, I was driven by the desire to bring forward a model of grief facilitation that moves beyond the dominant Eurocentric framework and beyond grief tied solely to human loss and death. I envisioned a model that encompasses the grief felt in systemic loss, honoring deeper, more holistic ways of holding space for grief.

This course introduced the concept of Collective Resonance™ grief facilitation, a practice rooted in the legacy and wisdom of my grand - mother Odé Obossou Dorcas of Kèrè. It wasn’t just about teaching skills; it was about passing on a lineage, weaving together Indigenous knowledge lens on grief with neurobiology. The trainees learned to approach grief as both a personal and collective journey, drawing from the strength of community, shared experiences, and embodied wisdom.

Now, as I reflect on the months of shared learning, I want to share the lessons I’ve reaffirmed through this experience—the key takeaways that will shape the next steps in this work and, hopefully, inspire others on their journey to becoming grief facilitators.

1. The Power of Collective Grief Work

Through guiding this cohort, I received a powerful confirmation of what I already knew: the deep impact of collective grief work. Holding space for this group reassured me in my belief and my process, further convincing me that this approach is essential for truly engaging with grief. Grief often feels isolating, as if we are meant to shoulder it alone. However, this cohort demonstrated that when people come together, even in a small group of 5 people, with the shared intention of exploring and processing grief, something beautiful happens.

As each trainee brought their own stories of loss—whether personal, ancestral, systemic, or cultural—it became clear how interconnected we all are. When one person opened up about their grief, it unlocked something for the entire group. There was a ripple effect, where vulnerability and honesty became the foundation for mutual support. In these moments, grief was no longer an individual burden but a shared experience that everyone could hold together.

We learned that collective grief work creates a container large enough for the complexities of our emotions. It makes space for each person’s grief to be seen, heard, and validated, while also fostering a sense of community that is often absent in individual grief journeys. This group-based approach allows for a deeper, more relational understanding of grief, one that acknowledges how our experiences of loss intersect with those of others. The result is not only personal healing but a stronger, more grief-informed community.

2. Grief is Multifaceted

Another strong confirmation from working with this first cohort was just how multifaceted grief truly is. When we think of grief, our minds often jump to the loss of a loved one. But grief stretches far beyond death. Throughout the course, we explored the many faces of grief—loss of identity and belonging, fractured relationships, and systemic losses tied to genocide, racism, culture, land, and history. The trainees shared stories that revealed how grief can take root in almost any aspect of life. Some also spoke of grief connected to systemic violence—loss of cultural heritage, discrimination, and the collective trauma of communities. These layers of grief are often overlooked in conventional conversations, but they are no less significant.

This teaching experience reaffirmed for me that grief is not a singular emotion or event. It is layered and intertwined with our personal, social, and cultural realities. By recognizing grief in its many forms, we can more fully engage with the healing process. The cohort learned that tending to they own grief and acknowledging all types of grief is essential to becoming more compassionate facilitators—and it was a reminder for me as well.

3. The Importance of Embodied Wisdom

As the course unfolded, another powerful affirmation emerged: the significance of embodied wisdom and ritual in grief facilitation. Grief is not just an emotional or mental experience; it lives in the body. Throughout the training, we emphasized the need to reconnect with the body to fully process and move through grief.

I saw how they began to understand grief not as something to be 'fixed' intellectually, but as a physical presence that must be felt and processed. In our modern world, we’re often encouraged to push through or suppress our pain, but this cohort learned the value of sitting with the sensations in their bodies, of allowing grief to move through them rather than trying to control or numb it.

As we worked through different practices, such as breathing, somatic practices, and rituals, the group could too notice how much their bodies had been holding onto—years, sometimes generations, of unexpressed grief. By embracing embodied wisdom, they can now help the people they will be holding in the near future move beyond the surface and into the deeper layers where true healing resides.

This experience underscored for me the necessity of reconnecting with the body and rituals as essential aspects of grief work. Embodied wisdom goes hand in hand with emotional intelligence, and this combination allows facilitators to create soft, more compassionate spaces for those navigating grief.

4. Honoring Indigenous Knowledge

A significant aspect of the course was the emphasis on honoring Indigenous knowledge in grief facilitation. This teaching experience illuminated the richness and depth of wisdom that comes from Indigenous practices and perspectives, which often prioritize relationality, community, and the sacredness of the grieving process.

Integrating the teachings of my grand-mother allowed us to explore grief through a lens that challenges conventional Western paradigms. We discussed how many Indigenous cultures view grief as a natural part of life’s cycle, intimately connected to the land, ancestors, and community. This understanding fosters a more expansive approach to grief, one that embraces ritual, storytelling, and the sharing of collective experiences.

I witnessed the trainees grow in their appreciation for these teachings, recognizing how they can enrich their practice as facilitators. By weaving Indigenous knowledge into their work, they can better support individuals and communities in processing grief.

This emphasis on Indigenous perspectives not only enhances the trainees’ skills but also serves as a reminder of the importance of listening to and respecting the voices of those who have historically been marginalized. It challenges us to rethink our frameworks and create spaces where all forms of grief are acknowledged and honored.

5. Witnessing the Rebirth of Facilitators

One of the most rewarding aspects of teaching this cohort was witnessing the trainees as they integrated grief into their lives and practices. As they delved deeper into their own experiences of loss, many began to uncover parts of themselves that had long been dormant. This process felt like a rebirth—not just as individuals but as facilitators ready to support others on their grief journeys.

Throughout the course, I observed moments of profound realization as trainees confronted their grief. They shared stories of personal losses and learned to articulate the complexities of their emotions, allowing them to become more authentic and relatable facilitators. This journey was not just about acquiring skills; it was about embracing their own narratives and recognizing the power of vulnerability in the facilitation process.

Each trainee emerged with a deeper understanding of their role—not as a "fixer" of grief but as a compassionate guide. They learned to hold space for others with empathy, drawing from their own lived experiences. This shift in perspective is crucial; it allows them to be present with people they hold in a way that fosters trust and connection.

By the end of the course, I felt a sense of pride and hope for the future of grief facilitation. These newly equipped facilitators carry the wisdom of their own journeys and the collective experiences shared in the cohort. They are poised to make a significant impact, ushering in a new era of grief work that honors the complexities of loss while promoting transformation and resilience.

6. Growing Alongside them

Teaching this first cohort was not a one-sided exchange of knowledge, but rather a reciprocal journey. As the trainees grew and transformed, I too experienced growth. Their reflections, questions, and breakthroughs invited me to revisit my own relationship with grief, challenging my understanding and helping me expand as a facilitator.

I didn’t anticipate how deeply I would be affected by their openness and vulnerability. Each participant brought unique insights, and in holding space for them, I learned that grief work is not static; it is ever-evolving, just like those who practice it. I was reaffirmed in my belief that teaching is not about being the authority but about being present and open to new ideas, perspectives, and the dynamic energy that arises from the collective.

Through this mutual exchange, I recognized that my role as a facilitator is just as much about my own evolution as it is about guiding others. The courage and dedication of the cohort inspired me to continue deepening my practice, not just for their benefit, but for my own growth and for the future of grief facilitation.

I am incredibly proud of what each of these facilitators has chosen to bring into the world. Today, there are grief facilitators out there willing to hold space in queer communities and within transformative justice practices. One facilitator is dedicated to supporting people with adoption and foster care histories, while another is committed to holding grief for eldest children in African and Black families, acknowledging the unique burdens they often carry as the firstborn.

There is also a facilitator focusing on grief circles for young people facing human loss, creating a much-needed space for the younger generation to process and honor their grief. Another facilitator is committed to supporting those working in international justice—lawyers and others navigating complex legal systems—and also holding space for German bodies to face their historical responsibilities and process guilt and shame.

Watching each of them step into their unique role fills me with hope and deep gratitude. Together, we are expanding what it means to hold space for grief, ensuring that no one has to navigate it alone.

If you feel called to become a grief circle facilitator or want to become grief-informed, doors are now open to enroll in the second cohort starting on November 9th.